the value of time and thoughts

this post has been sitting. it's been looking for love. yearning to be posted. every time i try to finish it i change my mind on something i've typed. i've been thinking a lot lately. i've been thinking about life. my future. and what to do about college. i've been doing too much thinking. too much questioning. and i want all the answers because i have a control problem. i like to be in control all the time. doesn't matter where or what i'm doing i like to be in control of things. but i think that i've only made myself think i'm in control. i'm not. God is and when i can truly accept that i'll be living. until then i'm only tricking myself to believe i'm in control. so right now i'm sitting in silence, only to hear the clicking of the keys, and staring at the blinking cursor wondering what do i need to say.. but nothing comes.. from here on out my heart is leading the words written. not my mind. i don't need to say anything. but i always will have something to say. i thought blogging would be a spot to just throw my thoughts down, but now it's become the spot to throw everything down and organize it. i also had the assumption that it would be somewhat of a hassle to blog. i've started blogs before and left them just sitting on the internet wasting space. but this blog is fun to write on. i can't tell you how long i've really despised writing but this blog is fun to write. it's enjoyable and i think i like writing now. if you're reading this mumble-jumble of mess i like to call my blog. thanks. it's nice to think that someone, somewhere reads what i write. it's nice to know that you care about the mumbled-jumbled things that i like to call my thoughts. it has been a busy day and i'm looking forward to resting. i can't help but wonder what all my busy schedule means. does it mean that i'm trying to figure out how to manage time? what does it mean? i'm confused. bewildered. puzzled. i just don't have all the answers...yet..will i ever?

quote of the day:

'until you value yourself, you won't value time. until you value your time, you will not do anything' - m. scott peck

joke of the day:

70-year-old george went for his annual physical. he told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. then he said, "but you know doc, i'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when i'm done!"

a little later in the day, dr. Smith called george's wife and said, "your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. he claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."

thelma exclaimed, "that old fool! he's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"

have a lovely saturday. look for nice weather. much love and peace, dmaloney