lights on? or off?

before you read watch this video. it's strange, but the lights out made me think. ha, what a surprise. anyway, i've been thinking a lot about perspective lately. our perspective on life. our perspective on God. our perspective on what we have to do. our perspective on everything. and i'm not sure about you, but i feel like i have rather rigid perspectives on things. i think that i should do certain things and that that's what should be done then, but really shouldn't we focus less on our rigid and constricted views for everything. so my words of wisdom for today are just to look at things with an open mind. look using a panoramic view. be open to the good. and the bad.

my teeth: update number 4

so it's monday and that means i was at some type of dentist. today i visited the orthodontist who think that it would be best to do a root canal as soon as possible. so next tuesday i'll have a root canal. the belief of the orthodontist is that all the luck has been on our side so far and if i get out of this with only one root canal i should start playing the lottery. ha-ha! i'm not to upset besides the fact that i still can't eat anything super solid. oh and at least two more weeks before i resume softball and band. i'm getting there. and as dory, from finding nemo, would say 'just keep swimming'. much love and peace, dmaloney

sometimes you just need to suffer through

so it's that time. you're probably wondering what time? well, it's thursday, holy thursday, it's also time for a lovely lineup on nbc and grey's anatomy. and for some reason grey's anatomy always makes me think about huge life topics. lately the show has been focusing on topics like the choice to have children, but that's not the point. in tonight's episode a husband had to watch his wife taken off life support, not by his choice, but by his wife's choice three years prior. also in tonight's show a female police officer was wounded and lost her uterus in a surgery complication. the woman's story made me think about how often we have things that we love that hurt the people that love us most. this woman loved her police work and her husband. her husband loved her deeply, but after seven years wanted to settle down and finally have kids. unfortunately there were other plans for them.

i think that there is a lot that we can take from this story, and that this takes place in our lives often. (not this exact story, but you understand the point) we much too often disappoint the people who love us most for something that we love. i feel that i have a way to work on this. not as the woman, but as the husband. what do we do when someone we love continually disappoints us with something that they adore? what can we do?

well, i believe that a christians we're called to 'be the bigger person' for a lack of a better cliché. to be supportive and forgiving. i'm not saying that doing this is easy. it's extremely difficult and we'll all fail at this multiple times.we're human and that means we can learn from our mistakes. when i think about situations like this i can't help but think of God being the husband. God is often disappointed with our actions, but he still sent his son to die. so the next time you're sitting at a ridiculous event someone you love, loves remember the ultimate sacrifice given to you by the humble man, known as jesus christ.

happy april fool's day! and more importantly holy thursday. much love and peace, dmaloney

a different type of anniversary.

today marks my 40th blog post. in a way i feel accomplished i made 40 posts before easter and i'd have to say that i wanted to do something special for this "anniversary". when i think of anniversaries i think of love and relationships. today i'm not going to get mushy on you, but i'd like to honor a family that i have a great relationship with.

that family is the hertl's. i have know the hertl's since before i can even remember and for those of you who don't know they're moving in august. the talk of moving had been imminent for years, but the reality is finally here. it's taken me sometime to be okay will it and so today i'd like to honor each of you and thank you.

michael, there are so many youth group memories that involve you. there are too many to name. when i look back on those years i think that you're one of the main reasons why i enjoyed youth group so much. you are an awesome person and i am continually amazed by your creativity and patience. you've always been there to change the light bulbs (among other things.) you change the church. you helped the church develop and i don't think the church even knows how much you did and still do. michael, today, i'd like to thank you for helping to shape my faith journey and for all of your help throughout the years.

steph, you're one of my best friends and i wouldn't trade you for the world. we've had some great times, and even greater ones are to come. you're complex and multifaceted, yet live simply. you're extremely creative and gifted. as you know i'm not a fan of people saying that you can give over a 100%, but i think you do. you've never left me hanging. you'll always go until the lifts stop. and you are just amazing. you have always kept me on my toes. and i never know what's coming next. i'm excited to see where life takes you because i know that wherever you go you'll be successful. thanks for all the times you've helped me create something, make something better, or just quote the brady bunch movie. thank you for being such a great person. always dedicated.

becca, we've had some interesting experiences together. from our late-night-drowsy camp talks i've concluded that you're someone that i could go to with a question about life and you would listen and talk through it with me. when i think about you all i can think about is your positive attitude and how always makes me want to smile. it's rare for me to see you in a bad mood and you're positive attitude is always refreshing. it makes me love life. it makes me appreciate every breath that i take. every day. every drop of rain. just life in general. you're more complex than meets the eye. i believe that you're are someone who appreciates a time that works your brain. a time that makes you think. yet sometimes you can be frustrated by the fact that the thinking doesn't stop. becca, you're interesting in a good way. and that's what i love about you.

bryanna, i think that this picture describes who you are. you are unique in so many ways, and have so many awesome quirks. i'm so glad that you share them with me. from your pregnant belly to your accents to our man voices to our hand motions. everything you do makes me laugh. but you aren't just a joke-ster. you are very talented. you play piano which is something i wish i could do. i admire people who can play as well as you. i think that you are one of the quirkiest and coolest people i know. don't be afraid to show people who you really are because i believe that no matter where you go people will find you just as awesome as i find you.

sam, when we've actually talked i've enjoyed those experiences. i think that you're a strong person. you've been pushed around a lot throughout your life and i think that when you're older you won't take any crap from anyone. so sam i want to thank you for being a good sport and the butt of way too many jokes.

thank you hertl family for being such a large part of my life. you've each had an individual impact on me. best wishes to all of you as you prepare to embark on a new journey. i love all of you!

much love and peace, dmaloney

right now.

in history we've been studying the holocaust. as supplements for the class discussion we've been reading selections from elie wiesel's 'night'. if you haven't heard of or read 'night' it is based on elie wiesel's experience in the auschwitz-birkenau concentration camp in 1944-1945.

i read the whole book as a freshman in english and when i read it then it hit me. i recognized the horror of the holocaust. but this time i looked at it in a new perspective. certain parts really stood out. in particular the part where elie wiesel tells of the death of his father. i spare you the graphic details. but this made me think about a bunch of different things and some of them are unimportant. but one thing was the regret he had for his father's death. he felt like he had done something wrong by not responding to his father's last words. the words. 'eliezer.' it made me think about holding on to our earthly bodies. our grief. i'm not saying that dealing with grief is easy. it is hard to do. but if you can it's so much better. our bodies are nothing after our life on earth. they mean nothing. we shouldn't be afraid of death because it's only the start of your real life. the life that is unimaginable. and unfathomable. so life well. but don't be afraid or the end. live in the moment. right now. right now.

much love and peace, dmaloney

quality not quantity.

to grow or not to grow. that is the question. i'm not talking about height. i'm talking about churches. the pressure to grow churches and groups within the church is always present. but why?

numbers don't show commitment. they don't tell anyone anything. maybe that's a harsh statement but that's not the point. this is one of doug fields biggest points and i'm a big believer in it.

here's a question for you:

would you rather have one hundred sporadic members or fifteen totally dedicated people willing to grow in a relationship with others and God?

i would want the dedicated group.

but maybe this question doesn't apply to you. here's another one:

when it comes to friends would you rather have..

fifty friends that speak to you only when they need you and when you need them they completely blow you off...or have...

two or three friends that are always there for you. when they need you you and you need them they're there for you.

again, i'd want the two or three friends.

quantity isn't quality. and that's what we need to think about. that's what we need to focus on. this is what we need. so that's it. focus on the things that have quality not quantity.

much love and peace, dmaloney

all game. no talk.

everyone knows someone or has heard someone who talks a big game and doesn't act. it's frustrating, isn't it? i'm not talking about the jokes you have with friends. or anything like that. i'm talking about people who say think like 'yo, i'mma get my people on you.' or ' i'm perfect because i got to church.' sometimes we need to think before we speak. are you really going to get your people on me? or are you really perfect? because i'm pretty sure you've never opened a bible and i just heard you swear like a sailor back there.

and maybe these are harsh judgments that i'm not qualified to make. what i think doesn't matter. but i think if you're going to talk big you need to act big.

now, there's no beating the biggest act of all acts. (the creation of earth and humans) but you can still act. God gave you a mouth, ears, nose, legs, arms, and brain. and each of those are separate entities. yet work together. the body is a team and your mouth shouldn't do more work than your brain, arms, legs, ears, and nose.

'Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.' -1 corinthians 12: 14-26

this selection from paul's letter calls us to more than to just working together. it is open to its own interpretation. and the letter continues with what it really calls us to do. but i'm telling you back up your words. don't fight some idiot. show people that you are a real follower of Christ and that God's grace is there for everyone, anytime. the best part is that it never stops. never ends. and never stops giving.

much love and peace, dmaloney

back to the daily grind

i think for once.. i'm speechless. well, wordless. i'm not sure what to say today. just because there is so much on my mind. today my schedule was as follows:

5:40- wake up

6:40- walk to school

6:45-6:50ish- 1:40 school

1:40-1:50 run home change for softball

1:50-2:25 lessons

2:30-2:45 gather everything for softball head out to the field

2:50-5:00 softball practice

5:15 shower

5:35 eat dinner

6:00 get ready for viewing

6:15 head to pick-up SAT practice scores

7:15-8:30 attend a viewing

8:30-10 homework

10-10:45 blog

11 lights out

it's a vicious cycle that ends in death. there are times when i wish i could just stop everything. no deadlines. no times that i need to be anywhere. just time to myself.

maybe my thoughts are incorrect but it seems like some adults have the capability to do that. just stop all of the work and say 'right now that doesn't matter.' and maybe it's true that the work never really ends. maybe this is part of my control issue. a little perfectionism. a little over done.

just breathe. and enjoy the spring air. much love and peace, dmaloney

the value of time and thoughts

this post has been sitting. it's been looking for love. yearning to be posted. every time i try to finish it i change my mind on something i've typed. i've been thinking a lot lately. i've been thinking about life. my future. and what to do about college. i've been doing too much thinking. too much questioning. and i want all the answers because i have a control problem. i like to be in control all the time. doesn't matter where or what i'm doing i like to be in control of things. but i think that i've only made myself think i'm in control. i'm not. God is and when i can truly accept that i'll be living. until then i'm only tricking myself to believe i'm in control. so right now i'm sitting in silence, only to hear the clicking of the keys, and staring at the blinking cursor wondering what do i need to say.. but nothing comes.. from here on out my heart is leading the words written. not my mind. i don't need to say anything. but i always will have something to say. i thought blogging would be a spot to just throw my thoughts down, but now it's become the spot to throw everything down and organize it. i also had the assumption that it would be somewhat of a hassle to blog. i've started blogs before and left them just sitting on the internet wasting space. but this blog is fun to write on. i can't tell you how long i've really despised writing but this blog is fun to write. it's enjoyable and i think i like writing now. if you're reading this mumble-jumble of mess i like to call my blog. thanks. it's nice to think that someone, somewhere reads what i write. it's nice to know that you care about the mumbled-jumbled things that i like to call my thoughts. it has been a busy day and i'm looking forward to resting. i can't help but wonder what all my busy schedule means. does it mean that i'm trying to figure out how to manage time? what does it mean? i'm confused. bewildered. puzzled. i just don't have all the answers...yet..will i ever?

quote of the day:

'until you value yourself, you won't value time. until you value your time, you will not do anything' - m. scott peck

joke of the day:

70-year-old george went for his annual physical. he told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. then he said, "but you know doc, i'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when i'm done!"

a little later in the day, dr. Smith called george's wife and said, "your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. he claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."

thelma exclaimed, "that old fool! he's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"

have a lovely saturday. look for nice weather. much love and peace, dmaloney

what's on t.v tonight? joy or suffering?

this came up in bing images when i typed in nj hspa. haha! hspas are finally over. and i'm relieved. i'm pretty sure that i've mentioned how much i despise standardized testing. and after 3 days i was done. and i'm done complaining now.

as i was watching the baby office tonight i was thinking about the gift of children. it's scary and i think that even though the office demonstrates the beginning of parenthood in a fun and laughing matter that it was really true. and after the office was the premiere of the marriage ref. now, i don't know if you're think what i am but does that even make sense.

welcome to the world baby. then bam why do you keep your ex-husband prosthesis in the closet? hmm. what are our priorities? what do we as americans value? do we value the birth of a child and the beginning of a new life or others problems?

this:

or this:

are there more shows on television about suffering and pain or about love and new life?

we need to refocus our views. focus on the joys of life. maybe watching suffering keeps us from realizing our own problems, but let's enjoy life. have fun. laugh and celebrate the day that new life enters your family.

much love and peace, dmaloney

hump day and new perspectives

tuesday is a crazy day for me so today's post is light-hearted and just a plain old blog post. on tuesdays i get up nice and early like i do every school day. and then after school i have lessons for concert band. then i go from school to jackson liberty where i have my sat tutoring session for one hour and then i finally come home. it probably doesn't sound like a lot to most of you, but for me it's a pretty busy day, and sometimes this day can sour the rest of my week. the extra homework that i ignored on monday. the fact that my wednesday is even busier. and the fact that it is only tuesday, makes the week seem only that much longer. maybe my sour attitude culminates from everything that i've already mentioned, or maybe it's just the sats. the sats are the worst thing i've ever done. and that's tuesday. i don't have any inspirtation other than to find the day you can't stand and look at it in a new perspective.

quote of the day:

'in the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.' -albert einstein

joke/ fun fact of the day:

every day more money is printed for monopoly than the u.s. treasury.

photo of the day:

so take a look at things with a new perspective. much love and peace, dmaloney

the paralyzing novocain

so today i made the unfortunate trip to the dentist to have a cavity filled. not exactly the way i would generally want to spend my monday afternoon, yet i suffered through. and as i sat there with a dentist and a hygienist peering into my mouth with a ten inch needle i couldn't help but think about our fears brought upon us psychologically. did the needle actually hurt? no. not really. yet i had already convinced myself that it was going to be painful. our fear is paralyzing. it's the most powerful emotion. it trumps all. my biggest fear is not being in control. so leads to a lot of other fears. i need to be in control. and i often tell myself that i can deal without being in control yet as soon as the time comes my fear kicks in. it's horrible. it's more than paralyzing. so what can we do to conquer fear? how can we kick fear out the back door? well, truth be told i don't have a true answer. the best advice i can give is to trust. have faith. was the trip to the dentist actually painful? did die by going on the roller coaster? did that spider kill you? no. no. and no. so ask yourself these questions the next time fear knocks on your door. just go for it. slam the door in fear's face and walk away. because you've won.

just for your information i don't look like this anymore. super plus!

quote of the day:

'fear is not the natural state of civilized people.' -aung san suu kyi

joke of the day:

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

photo of the day:

prove fear wrong. much love and peace, dmaloney

the beauty pageant

beauty. it's defined in the dictionary as the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising fromsensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personalityin which high spiritual qualities are manifest). and as humans i'd like to believe that we each have our own definition of beauty. to some it looks like this:

or this:

but the one of the amazing thing about God is that he isn't the judge of a beauty pageant. he doesn't care how you look in a bikini or if you can walk down a runway in heels. God loves you the way you are. he made you the way you are because he think you are beautiful. here are some of the top image results for beauty, you might be surprised,

beauty comes in a shapes, sizes, colors, races, and God doesn't see any of that. he sees all of us as a b-e-a-u-tiful child. his creation. so don't change yourself because you want to look "beautiful" because you all ready are.

just smile and don't change yourself to fit societies demand of beauty.

quote of the day:

"be yourself and think for yourself; and while your conclusions many not be infalliable, they will be nearer right than the conclusions forced upon you." - elbert hubbard.

joke of the day:

i don't have one, so go look in a mirror, and make a funny face.

photo of the day:

start this week with a new attitude. wake up with a smile. much love and peace, dmaloney